模拟测试

新东方名师在线点评考研英语作文第二期点评

来源:跨考2007-12-19

  第二期题目:2004年考研英语作文真题

  shuclin发表日期:2007-01-05 20:03:03第2楼

  As is shown vividly in the cartoon, a young man is running to the ending point, which is also a starting point, in a running race. At first, I think that the ending or starting point may be wrongly marked in the picture. However, after further thinking, I find that there are some deeper meanings in it.

  Obviously, the subject of the drawing indicates that "the ending point is also a new beginning point". Indeed, nowadays with the rapid development of the economy, we may face various social pressure or difficulties. Under these circumstances, the completion of one thing is just the beginning of another. So we should realize that many things are connected with each other. What's more, we should keep on learning, which is beneficial to us.

  A specific example is our graduates, who will leave school. Campus life is going to end but the social life is just about to begin. So keeping a calm attitude towards the graduation is good for our development in the future. That is to say, learning knowledge has no ending point for ever.

  本文在语言上存在一些问题,在尽量保存原文信息的基础上,改了一些单词和句子。原文中有“The obtaining of one knowledge if the preparation for learning another new knowledge.”这句话原来在二段末,不能表达准确的含义,而且句子结构混乱。这说明作者意识到了句型结构变化的重要性,而是不能做到这一点。

  文章篇幅,段落的分布都可以,但是这篇文章暴露了很多考生做得不够的地方:第一段没有较好描述图表,二段三段分析存在跳跃,所以内容含义上稍微欠缺点。建议作者在写作前先花点时间理清所写文章的大体脉络,避免想到哪里就写到哪里。

  :leoibb发表日期:2007-01-06 10:33:17第 7 楼

  There has been a heated discussion about a picture in the newspaper. As is vividly shown above, on the playground runs a young man, rushing to the final, which is also marked as another start line. Tired as he is, he has to continue his travel optimistically. Just as the old Arab proverb says, destination means another start point.

  Simple as the picture is, the symbolic meaning behind the pictures is as deep as the ocean. The running situation is naturally associated with our real life. Whenever we have achieve a goal or the like, should we just stop pursuing the further goal and enjoy the happiness of success or be savage again for the next terminal? -- A question deserves our more attention.

  Among all the touching facts relating to running that I have heard of, noticed or experienced, the most impressive one is Liuxiang, the gold medal winner in Olympic Games, 2004. Had he stopped practice only after he had won a regional championship, he would not have been the world super star. Turn our attention to the business field. According to a survey, 70% of the companies merged by bigger ones have once been overjoyed with their small profits and unaware of the danger posed by more ambitious rivals. In sum, keeping making progress should be the right attitude toward life and work for everybody and even for a country.

  本文除了个别地方需做改进外,基本上已经达到了语言流畅,意思明确,举例得当的水平。在考研作文中,这算是一篇不错的文章。

  建议考生把上面两篇文章联系起来看,仔细品味两篇文章给人的不同感觉,在对比中寻找提高的方向。

   

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